I don’t tend to write about politics directly. You come here for play and hope, not despair. But it’s July 4th and everything is always political anyway. Also, play is hope. Play is inherently anti-despair, opens corners of the mind despair has no idea exist.
I’ve been learning a lot about my own psychology over the past few months—and years—getting closer to the why of how and who I am. I’ll spare you those deep dives, but suffice to say pretty much all dysregulation I experience is related to a fear of being trapped. My despair is born from predictability, loss of autonomy and physical limits. I lose all hope, life force seeps out of me. I know people look at me with incredulity as I hyperventilate inside what appears to be a beautiful and stable life. I understand my repellents are exactly what some want and need. And I’m still equally baffled when others panic in the face of change. Change is my jam, brings energy and creativity and endless possibility.
For me “bad news” is almost always a little exciting. Never your-best-friend-is-dead bad news, more the Biden-had-a-shiiiiiity-debate variety. So much potential. As most of my loved ones feel sincerely bereft about the future of democracy, here’s what I see (if you don’t care and or just don’t want to hear another word about it, skip to the next paragraph and also I promise this is an optimistic take that I absolutely believe will come to fruition): For once, we have a party (and nation) united in the understanding that Biden can neither beat Trump, nor continue to lead for another 4 years. Save a handful of prominent political people, no one is pretending that’s not true. It’s been less than a week and Democrats have begun calling for him to step aside. You think he won’t? Joe Biden has dedicated his life to democracy, understands the stakes, it’s just a little tragic for him—give the guy a minute. Once it’s clear that gaslighting the American people is bullshit and protecting the ego of one man is how dictators are formed, there will be an open convention like they used to have. Listen to Elaine Kamarck on The Ezra Klein Show for an optimistic rundown of how that might look. Americans will follow along like it’s Real Housewives, there will be energy and engagement and sincere enthusiasm without enough time for it to turn toxic. The Democratic Party will close ranks around the nominee, will run a campaign centering an anti-Project 2025 agenda, Americans will turn out in droves, Donald Trump will lose and in a year or two we’ll start hating the new Democratic president we elected. What about the Supreme Court stuff? Unfortunately, it may just be what’s necessary to get the Democratic Party to snap to.
I just listened to today’s episode of The NYT’s podcast The Run-Up and was so inspired I became a member of Braver Angels, a movement which began after the 2016 election to help voters of all stripes find common ground. The mission is to intentionally dialogue with people with differing views, to get better at understanding others, to prioritize humanity above party or policy or candidate. There is something inherently mindful about it, playful even. There is a base ethos that’s essentially improv’s “yes and.” I believe efforts like these are everything.
You don’t have to share my hope. Whatever your predisposition, your current mood, your origin story, whether you struggle with codependency or abandonment (let’s face it, most of us lean one way or the other), play is the antidote. It’s an ever-available reset. Play doesn’t discriminate, has no biases or party affiliation. Play loves everyone equally.
Perhaps you’ve already decided not to follow the news or look at social media on this holiday. Maybe you’re home and doubling down on distraction. Whatever you do, today and going forward, try not to give yourself a hard time. Despair loves that shit. You are how you are and play is the way to truly accept that.
Here’s your Optional Play Assignment:
Have an affair with play. Cheat on your normal daily life. Designate a location “our spot” and send yourself an email or text from play that says meet me in 20, bring goodies. It’s no one else’s business what you do there. Applying play to despair rarely works, so just build a secret parallel universe.
I truly love you
Loving this and fully agree! Looking up Braver Angels!!💚🤩